My Story: Dieter to Intuitive Eater
Five years ago, I started college from my childhood bedroom. It was 2020 and I had officially begun my journey to become a Registered Dietitian… all while still struggling with food (though I convinced myself I was “better”). I wasn’t chasing weight loss anymore, but I was still desperate for control.
My struggles with food and my body began way before college…
Circa 2015
I remember being in 7th grade at a waterpark, sucking in my stomach the entire time because I hated how my belly looked. In 8th grade, after a knee injury, I was terrified of gaining weight, so I did crunches in my bedroom every night. In high school, I snuck into my parents’ bathroom early every morning to weigh myself before anyone woke up.
I grew up hearing adults talk about being “good” and “bad” around food. I watched shows like The Biggest Loser as a kid. I learned early on that shrinking your body was the ultimate goal and that you needed rules because you couldn’t trust yourself.
Things escalated before high school. After that knee injury, my doctor praised me for not gaining weight despite being inactive… and I felt proud. That pride fueled extreme restriction, over-exercise, and obsession. Eventually, I lost my period, struggled with injuries, and watched my hair thin, but the number on the scale still dictated my worth.
When a doctor finally voiced concern about my weight loss and mentioned eating disorders, I was scared into eating enough… but I didn’t fully heal mentally.
From there, I cycled through “wellness” phases (macro counting, then strict veganism) and was still confident that thinness was necessary to be healthy. Sure, extreme restriction was not cool, but your BMI had to be under 25 to be “healthy.”
As I went through college…
and learned that the vegan food at the dining hall sucked, I started learning the nuances of nutrition.
I would stay after class to discuss plant based diets with my professors, quoting things I had heard from vegan advocates (particularly those known to cherry pick information and insinuate that you will die from heart disease if you eat an egg). And would leave confused why my professors weren’t talking about plant based nutrition like it was the holy grail.
Eventually, science started chipping away at my biases. I learned that while plant based nutrition is great, it’s not black and white. Eating a piece of chicken or ice cream is not going to clog your arteries and give you a death sentence.
Through my own education (like reading the Intuitive Eating book), I also learned about the nuances of weight science. That gasp – weight loss was not the answer to everything and that you actually could be healthy in a larger body if that’s what was right for you.
From one extreme to another
I had a brief period too where my biases completely switched and I once again forgot the nuances of nutrition. I shamed my family members for still wanting to lose weight and adopted the “social media version” of intuitive eating (eat whatever you want whenever you want).
Until I realized that multiple things can be true at once: a person can want food freedom and weight loss. I can help someone consider the risks vs benefits of pursuing weight loss without coaching them on weight loss.
Our struggles with food are often not about food at all. You can’t just force away thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Life, trauma, experiences, etc are closely intertwined with our relationship with food and our bodies.
My goals as a Weight-Inclusive Dietitian
I realized my goal was to provide a safe place for my clients to talk through their thoughts about food and body, offering guidance and evidence-based care in a gentle way.
I want to empower my clients to live their life on their terms (not mine or their family’s or diet culture’s) – so they can truly feel happy and fulfilled ❤️
If you are interested in starting your journey towards recovery, learn how you can work with me!